The biggest mistake we made during the adoption process was not keeping our children's Korean names as part of their legal names. We use their Korean names at home, at Korean school, with our Korean friends, but they are not part of their legal names. I really regret this. Recently, my son asked me if we can legally add it, so we are investing how to do this through the court system. Poor kid.. he'll have 5 names since I gave him 2 middle names and he doesn't want to drop any. My daughter hasn't asked for this, but we'll changer hers as well, I think.
This really hit home for me when we escorted home SeungJu from Korea to the US. He was known by this name for 9 months. It is a part of who he is. It is who he was to us... and when we handed him over to his family they called him by his American name and it felt strange to me. I did the same thing, so I am not judging. I don't know if they kept his Korean name or not (I hope so). But this experience really made me realize the importance of keeping a child's Korean name... it is a real part of who they are, it acknowledges that their lives began before me, in another place. I know this is important to many Koreans as well. My daughter's foster mother kept saying her Korean name over and over and asking, "You know who you are?" My son's Halmoni was very happy that my son knew he used his Korean name and that he could write his name in Korean (I'm not sure she even knows what his American name is).
So.... if you are in the process of adopting I encourage you to keep your child's Korean name as part of his/her legal name. It helps to recognize that this child had a life in Korea prior to coming to the US. It helps your child keep a part of him/herself, I think, that is sometimes lost.
I'm curious what others think.... please post.
We did keep our son's Korean name as his middle name and gave him an American name as his first name. But after sitting with his foster mom for three hours in Korea and hearing him called by his Korean name, he was his Korean name to us and now we rarely call him by his American name. He knows all of his names and many friends and family call him by his American name, but when we've asked him what he wants us to call him, it's always his Korean name.
ReplyDeleteThat's great! My children are using their Korean names more and more. They call me 엄마 most of the time as well. I wish we had gone to Korea to get the kids. It was not encouraged at the time, but I think it would have brought us to where we are now in our journey even faster.
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